The Possibility of Transformation (again)
Wherein I share my journey to Wisdom School and invite you to join me.
It was January 2020, and we in the U.S. didn’t yet know what that time reference would mean yet, but for me, it meant I was stuck, spiritually. Things were going well with Asiyah, the community I’d co-founded and was co-creating with kindred souls, but my well was a bit dry. Perhaps it was a natural let-down: I had, after all, spent the previous decade immersing myself in mystical (and non-mystical) studies. Though I had a chevruta/study partner, it wasn’t the same. Perhaps it was a consequence of starting down the path of sacred medicine. Having sat my first ceremony that previous fall, doors opened that needed tending. All I knew was that I needed a mentor—someone beyond my mashpiah/spiritual companion to walk with on an authentic spiritual path. That’s when I sat down with Reb Nadya.
Reb Nadya had been my teacher in the Hashpa’ah/spiritual accompaniment training program, and I knew her to be a wise woman. I’m not sure anymore why I approached her that winter, though. As is my wont, I probably carried her more in my heart than I demonstrated in my outward relationship with her, meaning that I don’t think we’d hardly spoken since having finished the program three years prior. I asked her if she would be my mentor. I did and didn’t know what I was asking, but in the conversation, more arose that convinced me I had been guided to this connection by something beyond myself.
In her circumspect way, she invited me into a mutual discernment process—let’s see if this was meant to be—and gave me an instruction for my visit to Reb Zalman’s kever/gravesite later that morning, “look into the polished surface of the headstone and try to see yourself as Reb Zalman would’ve seen you: with unconditional regard.” My first instruction from a spiritual master. It turns out this was a bit harder than advertised! I only managed to see myself, with all my shortcomings. This would be a hard path.
I did get an assignment from Reb Zalman’s kever to take up a daily tikkun klali practice for 40 days, which was profound. (Perhaps I’ll write about that some other time.)
One night, toward the end of those 40 days, Reb Nadya appeared in my dream, beaming at me silently as I’ve only experienced from those who’ve passed beyond the veil. I decided it was time to call her. When I did, it turned out she had had a dream of me, too, on that same night. We decided this was the sign we were looking for.
She began to teach me the kabbalah of relationship—a female lineage that she learned from her savta/grandmother, one passed on from mother to daughter in circles of wise women—and when she resumed the cycle of her two-year Wisdom School, she invited me to join as an apprentice. Even though I had begun learning that kabbalah, it really was Wisdom School that hooked me. To receive this transmission about relationship in relationship with a cohort was such a profound gift. That task (gift!) of seeing myself (and others) with unconditional regard? Unlocked.
Last year, I was hired by Yerusha, the organization Reb Nadya cofounded and through which Wisdom School is offered, to help run and co-teach the program. I’m now halfway through another cohort, and my awe only deepens at this work. In it, I am able to land the insights I’ve gained from medicine work, and vice-versa. But entheogenic medicine is only a mind amplifier (psychedelic means mind-manifesting), and I’ve seen participants grow enormously in Wisdom School without the help of such medicine.
Now, we are retooling the way Wisdom School is being offered. Because the world is so uncertain and demands on our attention so high, committing to a two-year program on faith (or my word) may feel like too much to ask. Instead, we’re offering the first of four modules as a stand-alone retreat, with three follow-up Zoom calls.
We also know that money is tight, but there’s no substitute for in-person gatherings! It used to be that Wisdom School would gather for four retreats (one for each module) in the mountains of Colorado, which are lovely but far for most folks. In order to make the wisdom more accessible—and more affordable—we’re going local! Three different locations (Boston included) will be running simultaneously, facilitated by pairs of Reb Nadya’s hand-picked lineage holders (Yoreshet or Yoresh—a title I don’t yet have!), and including live Zoom feeds from Reb Nadya every day. She’ll pass on the royal jelly, and the Yor’shot will help unpack it and deepen the understanding through experiential modalities.
My first career was in sales, as some of you know—first for Apple, then as a wine merchant—and I still get slightly nauseous when I feel I’m “selling” something. But I can’t not tell you about this.
If you’ve reached a doldrums in your spiritual life,
And no longer know how to be in this cray-cray world,
This program is for you.
If you’re done with wellness-influencer-as-guru pop spirituality,
And yearn for lineage-based deepening without culty behavior,
This program is for you.
If you’ve ever wondered where all the women were in kabbalah,
And have sought a heart and body approach that wasn’t made up yesterday,
This program is for you.